Lovely, chat with insurance lady

First step to getting two lesbian pregnant, call the insurance company to confirm that we are still second-class citizens and do not qualify for any fertility treatment.  Yep, the insurance company doesn’t cover any of the costs.  Here’s a small piece of our conversation.

Me- “Hi, I would like some information on my coverage of fertility treatment.”

IC – “Of, course. Can I have your name and policy number?”

Me- Provide info

IC – “Yes, your plan covers fertility treatment.”

Me- “Great, what are the details?”

IC – “I just need a little bit of information. Have you been actively trying for 12 months?”

Me- “We’ve been actively trying for 33 years.”

IC – Laughs.  “Have you and your husband been to the doctor’s to schedule tests?”

Me – “No”

IC – “I’m sorry.  You need to get a referral from your PCP first for infertility testing.  Once you get a referral we can move forward.”

Me- “I don’t have infertility issues. I’m an lesbian and my wife and I want to have a kid.”

IC – “Oh, I’m so sorry. We don’t provide coverage for that.”

Me – “What? You just said, I have coverage. “

IC –“You have to be actively trying for a year with a male partner in order for the coverage to click in.  I’m sorry insurance hasn’t caught up with the times.  My cousin is lesbian.”

Me -  (thinking to myself) I don’t really give a f**k that your cousin is a lesbian.  Thanks for sharing.  We must now be best friends and completely understand each other.  “So, if I was with a guy. I could just tell my doctor I had been trying for a year and we would get a referral from the doctor and coverage from you.”

IC – “Yes, I’m very sorry.  I don't agree with the policy. But I do have some good news.”

Me- I don't really care about your beliefs, but thanks again for sharing some personal info with me. “Great, what is it?’

IC- “We have a new policy that allows people in your situation to do 12 rounds of IUI and after 12 fail attempts of IUI we cover all the cost at 80%.”

Me – “Thanks, but that’s a ridiculous policy.  That’s a year of failures for someone who has no fertility issues. Not to mention $1,000s of dollars. I’m thinking, I’ll be delivering a baby in 12 months. Does anyone actually qualify for that loophole?”

IC – “I’m not sure.”

Me – “Have you personal used that policy for someone?

IC – “No."

Me- “My point exactly.”

IC – “Once you are pregnant we cover the pre-natal care and delivery.”

Me- “You have to.”